The staff here is pretty fantastic. Not only are they knowledgable, they have the tolerance and humility of saints. I can’t imagine having new volunteers come every month or few months and having different ideas of what is important or how things should be done. I, of course, have things that I wish I could emphasize and change but the truth is they are doing a pretty great job and I have to understand the relativity of the situation along with my own personal biases about what is most important and what should be done or improved upon next. The longer I am here the more I realize that I am actually not “doing” much. The staff know what they are doing far more than I do. The deal with things like preventable disease like meningitis, Japanese encephalitis, polio, tuberculosis, among others things like burns and tropical diseases like malaria, dengue, weird fungal stuff, far more than I do. In these, and many other situations, they are the experts, and I learn a lot from them.
Yes, the longer I am here the more I feel like my job is not necessarily medical as much as solidarity and to stand as a witness. I don’t know how that translates or comes across but that is the best way that I can think to say it. I am experiencing a lot. I am seeing a life that I knew was remote and less fortunate than my own, but I am seeing a ruggedness I hardly believed existed anymore…and I am in the city. And seeing now that my job is more of a witness, and hopefully, a help I will attempt to share some of the things I see and experience. I understand that my view is colored very much by my own life and as I am seeing on the regular, with much humor involved, many things are misconstrued or lost in translation. So, forgive me if things are not quite right or “lost in translation,” either from my misunderstanding or because they are passing through the filter of my mind.
In regards to a lack of frequent updates, I have learned sometimes you just have to wait for these things to come out in their own time. They can’t be forced just because I have the time or desire to write. Sometimes my mind and spirit-and the story-need a little time, a little distance and a few breaths before being able to “speak them out loud”. All that being said, here goes.
Ended my second shift ever at the hospital coding an infant. I’d made friends with mom, even though we don’t speak the same language, throughout the day. Her baby was sick and we moved him from the main area (where he had been for a few days) to the Emergency Area where we could give him more attention (when I say we, I mean the Lao staff, I technically am not allowed to provide patient care, only support to the staff). I had put my arm around mom when he first took a turn for the worse. A few hours later things got really bad. As soon as chest compression started on his little body, mom ran straight at me from across the room and collapsed crying into my chest. I held her for several minutes while they performed CPR on her new little baby. In the end, he did not survive. When he was gone and lying still, I helped mom into a chair next to a bed and placed him in her arms. He was very sick and we have limited resource. Too tired to cry right now.
Two shifts in and we coded and lost another baby.
I’ve witnessed many deaths since I’ve been here. More than we would at home. The hospital does a great job and saves a great number of lives but there is still a lot we can’t do.
