Sunday, September 9, 2012

And the dam breaks

I miss my kids in Ecuador. I feel like I loved each one of them SO much and then they are just suddenly taken away from me. :/ I was thinking about that a lot tonight and trying to figure out how to get back to them, and if I do get back to them, how do I get back to them again after that and how long could I stay and could I make a difference, and how do I get them all the things I want them to have. And not just stuff, but like the love and attention and encouragement and knowledge of possibilities. I feel kind of selfish for how much good it did me to love them. And to be loved back. I miss them so much. I actually couldn't talk about it for a while when I first got back. Too much. it was just too much. I loved them too much and missed them too much that telling people about it seemed trivial in comparison to what it was.

I have 3 weeks when this job ends before my next contract, and although it will completely blow all the tiny bit of money I will have recovered-and then some-from this most recent job, I'm looking in to figuring out how to get back there, if only for those short 3 weeks. 

Having been down there and knowing how things work, and what they have and don't have,  I know better what to bring with me and what help I'd like to try to provide. It's on my mind quite a bit. 

...And so is the wonderful shawarma ;) and potato soup.

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