I remember reading somewhere once (excuse the lack of reference) that one should, "never mistake stupidity for malice".
This is true. With a few exceptions, most people may do hurtful things or cause you grief but chances are it was more out stupidy than just outright malice. I admit, some people are just nasty and do unexplainable things just to be mean (I work with one of them). But for the most part I don't think the mean things people do are not intended to hurt. In fact i think they hardly notice the hurtee at all. It's a lapse in thought and concern for others.... a.k.a. stupidness.
I am one who has been let down frequently in life. Perhaps, by much of my own doing. I expect too much and expect people to follow through on their actions or at least own whatever it is. I guess I just expect carma to have a much faster turn around time that it seems too. (Although, in many cases I am extrememly happy to report that I don't always get what I probably deserve-take that however you'd like, it's true both ways :).)
This next thought has come up a few times in life recently. One of those things you always agree with but never take to write it down or fully finish the thought aloud, so here goes: Most things can be fixed if one will simply "own it". As evidenced in one of my all time FAV-OR-ITE movies, P.S. I Love You. Selfishness and thoughtlessness is immediately forgiven when a woman's best friend, who was supposed to be the maid of honor, but has been MIA, is told how selfish she was and how she couldn't handle not being the center of attention. When said supposed-to-be maid of honor looks sheepishly at the bride-to-be and admits, "You're right. I'm sorry." Sobs, acceptance, forgiveness...yada, yada, yada...and scene. Think of it also in the basics of repentance. The whole process starts with, "I did it" or "I didn't do it." Whether to a best friend, a stranger on the street, or God himself, it all starts with owning it. Anyway, that's a thought that went in a different direction than I thought it would, so as in many blog entries, and not just my own....I digress.
...I've always had this obnoxious chipper side and "cynical optomitic", but optomistic, nonetheless, outlook on life. I must admit now that it has been severely tarnished as of late. But underneath it all a ray a light still lurks. I think one of the reasons the rust hurts so much is that I know the truth. I know that a kind word turneth away wrath, the truth will set me free, and that character will always bring one more power and strength than any man-made replacement. The sting comes when I fail to live my life in align with these truths. It stings. And every time I fail, I lose faith in myself and my ability to do so. They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Some times I feel like I've paved a 8 lane freeway! So I hope by posting this little link a chink will be made in our oxidized armour, that a trickle of that light will shine though and chip off someone else's crusty outter layer.
and we're back.
Dispite my whining and my past, present, and future pains, I have undoubtly lived, a comparably, charmed life. My point is this: most people who hurt us don't do it on purpose, they're just being stupid and we get caught in the crossfire. They are human, so are we. And I'd like to think of us as just stupid sometimes than horribly malicious despite recent news reports of ugliness. These are out there but hopefully, the grossly extreme, and not the norm. For the most part we're all just bumbling along doing our best, even if our best sucks.
This whole thing started off as an opportunity to post this, which I found on a friend's blog:
I just thought I should write a little something to go along with it and the above spew came out. (I've found it best that if my blog is ever to be updated to not edit or think about what I'm writing. If I do it never gets updated or posted. Oh, you've noticed? Specifically Dad :) who's been asking for an update. I'm really good at this tangent thing, no?)
We all need validated, especially the crustiest of us all. We all feel that we have the world on our shoulders, which I guess, in a way, we all kinda do have our own entire world on our shoulders. I believe that the weight of that world becomes much less recognizable when we stand up straight enough to look out of our universe and recognize the work and effort that goes into another's world. Not to mention his/her ability to hold it up. Now just to stop paving and start skipping, progressly down the path that goes in the opposite direction from where that freeway was headed.
Before I stay up too much later or before the tangent monster explodes again I summize in the concise and profound words from two of the most memorable men of our age:"Be Excellent To Each Other" -Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan