Monday, May 2, 2011

This past year was one of the longest and most eventful years of my life.

In the past year of my life I have been to 7 new places: 6 countries: Greece, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Burma/Myanmar (even if I was only in Burma/Myanmar for an hour for a visa run-I did get a pair of sunglasses there) plus Hawaii. It's opened my mind and broadened my understanding of other people, the world, and myself.

I've had three separate jobs, one permanent in Concord, Ca, in adult outpatient oncology and two travel assignments: one in Santa Rosa, Ca, in adult outpatient oncology; and I'm now starting my third in San Diego, Ca, where I'm returning to pediatrics-also outpatient oncology.

And while I'm ecstatic to report that my mom remains cancer-free, I lost my father exactly two months ago tomorrow, which is one of the longest hurts I think I'll ever endure because from here on out, he'll never be here. And no matter how much healing I do, and how much good comes into my life, that will never change. And I'll miss him over and over again for the rest of my life.

I've become a more competent and at times, an even more confident nurse. And lost confidence in some aspects of my life but gained it in other very important aspects of my life.

I've discovered some new music and new friends. I've retained and deepened my love and trust I've friends I've had for a long time.

I've broken one heart and had my own wrenched and came out of it just fine.

While this year has certainly had countless ups & downs, and has been a very difficult one for me, I can't help but admit that I still love life. And while I have some serious catching up to do in a lot of things I let slip, the wild ride will not be regretted. I hope to learn from my mistakes rather than hide from them or let them beat me down with the thought that I can't overcome my weaknesses, or that I can't make up the slack that came as a result of emotional and physical depletion. It is doable and my slack is a consequence of being human. The blind-siding that happened this past year, knocking me off my ideal course, is not a reflection of who I am or who I always have to be. I'm stronger for it-or at least I will be. And let's face it, I certainly had some wonderful adventures this past year to even it all out!

Yes, I'd consider this year of my life to be one of extremes. Of high accomplishments and near-devastating disappointments.

To sum it all up:

"This is my one and only life and it's a great and terrible and short and endless thing and none of us come out of it alive." -p.s. I love you

I think the song that sums up this past year and that I'll deem my theme for this coming one comes from the same movie as the quote above. Enjoy

1 comment:

Darin DeVore said...

Hey Amy, I sent you an email to your atecowwoman account. I don't know if that is still your email or not but I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need anything. Really.